


Isolation

by hercreationgalaxy



Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Genre: Angst, F/F, One-Sided Attraction
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-22
Updated: 2017-05-22
Packaged: 2018-11-03 18:13:31
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 826
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10972683
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hercreationgalaxy/pseuds/hercreationgalaxy
Summary: She let her head fall back, resting on the wall behind her. She sniffed, breathing heavily with tears still streaming down her face, albeit quieter than before. Why did she always come back to Buffy? Why didn’t Buffy ever come back to her?





	Isolation

Faith Lehane had never experienced such a burning, raw, pure hatred in her life. She could feel it scorching her inside every time she passed by a mirror and caught a glimpse of herself. Every time she saw her dark hair contrasting with her pale skin she wanted to punch the reflective surface and watch her image shatter. Then she could see her porcelain skin marred with cuts and painted in blood; then she could let herself focus on that pain, not how despicable she was.

  
Of course, she thought bitterly, Buffy probably never had thoughts like that. She was probably sitting in her tub right now, warm water caressing her skin and scented bubbles filling her nose with a relaxing aroma. She could practically see Buffy, her tan skin covered in water droplets, and her thick blond hair sticking to her in a mix of steam and sweat. Buffy probably wasn’t even thinking about her.

  
And that hurt more than punching a mirror ever would. The thought that after all, they’d been through, Buffy had been the closest thing to a friend and she probably couldn’t even recall Faith’s name, but she could remember everything about Buffy. Buffy was beautiful. Buffy was smart and funny and loved and popular and goddamn piece of shit, just like everyone else. Just another person promising love and acceptance and then turning their back on Faith. But then again, who could blame her?

  
Every man Faith had met seemed entranced by her, their eyes were drawn to her tight clothing, scanning her body hungrily. They were drawn to her blatant sexuality, the way she laid it all out in the open, her beauty, her sex appeal, and her own desire for sex.

  
They would see her in a club, dancing, with a crowd of men, all enamored by her sensual movement. They would each try to grab her attention; make a show of buying the most expensive drinks, or being the most unavailable, all in the hopes she would go home with them. She often did but was gone before they were awake.

  
Buffy was of course too good for that. She was a good girl. She only danced with whoever her boyfriend of the week was, never any more. She would never be like Faith. Faith was a bad girl.

  
Why did she always come back to Buffy? She could be mentally listing her top ten fucks and in between every man, Buffy’s perfect face would pop up, pink lips pulled back in a dazzling smile meant for everyone except Faith.She could blame it on the fact that Buffy pushed her away, abandoned her. But Faith was a big girl, she had been left before. It was building blocks of her life, it was what built the wall of isolation she had grown so used to.

  
And yet all she could think about was Buffy. They had been so close to friends. If things had stayed the way there before— going out clubbing and causing a ruckus together—they could have been so goddamn close. They could have been everything Faith had never had, everything that she starved for to the point of pain.

  
If she was honest with herself-something rare- she would admit she liked Buffy, maybe even loved her. Loved the way she could draw everyone’s eyes to her and they would view her with love, adoration, respect, awe and lust. Maybe that’s something they had in common, both were viewed with lust. But Faith was never seen with more, at least not until they got to know her and found her despicable. No man wanted the strength, independence, and sass that came with Faith’s sultry image, and Buffy and her Scoobies didn’t want her questionable morals.

  
Maybe she was destined to be alone, spending her life settling for a minute before being shaken up again, kicked out whatever pseudo-family she’d formed with the other misfits who would eventually decide even she was too fucked up for their group of fuck ups.

  
God, that’s all she was—just another fuck up. Not like Buffy, of course. Buffy came from a good family and had good friends and was beautiful and funny and why did she always come back to Buffy?

  
And then it came; the crying. Her body heaved and shook as she screamed, tears streaming down her face. Her eyes burned as makeup ran and stung. She gasped and choked, struggling to get air in between each crippling sob. She brought a hand to her face, trying to rub away any trace of her breakdown. Through her blurry vision, she could see the black smeared across the back of her hand.

  
She let her head fall back, resting on the wall behind her. She sniffed, breathing heavily with tears still streaming down her face, albeit quieter than before.

  
Why did she always come back to Buffy?

  
Why didn’t Buffy ever come back to her?


End file.
